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A DANCEY
BEVERAGE SURVEY IN THE WORKSHOP CONTEXT
By Peter
Stamer
There is
something wrong with the drinks on the menu. Why would THAT be on it? Why would
they sell VODKA at a place where workshoppers meet to practice their healthy
bodies, to dance? Dancers drink water one might presume in general, water from
the tap or Evian, but for sure not from a Russian bottle. Or would they use
vodka to rub it in their bodies to soothe severe muscle pain? For the moment,
this remains a mystery on the menu card of Arsenal's catering service. Lying on
the counter or on tables, it can not be overseen, signalling orange all over,
on one side food, on the other a list of beverages – at its bottom "vodka, 2
cl, 2.80 Euro". Or "tequila, 2cl, 2.80 Euro". TEQUILA. You can't even use the
Mexican liquor to rub it somewhere. It's simply rubbish one gets pissed with
once in a lifetime and then never again. So why is THAT on the menu, for all
spirits' sake?!
Further up, one finds SPRITZER.What the heck? Who would
understand this name without having already spent a couple of weeks in Austria?
Ze Germans? They wouldn't have a clue (as usual). Americans? Not the slightest
idea. Italians? They call a "Sprizz” a sweet drink mixed of champagne and
aperol, but this has nothing to do with a Spritzer. This is a great achievement
of Austrian delights, namely mixing white wine with sparkling water. Some
people call it refreshment in summer, others a cultural misunderstanding – for
why would would one mix wine with water (outside the Catholic sermon, to save
money …)? One can hear the Q&A at the counter: either the term “Spritzer”
is not defined any further in order to lead the client astray ("Excuse me, what
is a Spritzer?" – "I won't tell …"), or one has to deal with
man-of-the-world-attitudes, based upon the distinction of small but important
differences ("Excuse me, what is a Spritzer?" – "Excuse ME, but which
uncivilized country do YOU come from?").
Tequila embraces the heart
Or, and this is most likely, the
notion of Spritzer simply is part of what one could call the "local appeal" of
the menu. Spritzer represents Austrian drinking culture, and invites all those
who like their wine being watered (like the two animated penguins invented by
the Austrian tourist board to promote Austria who would exclaim: "Austria at
last"!). Vodka on the contrary simply wants to make our Russian or Balkanese
friends feel at home and warm their hearts whereas Tequila embraces the heart
of the two Americas: Mexico, and its beautiful people. Ah, Monserrat. The same
logic must account for the mentioning of HEINEKEN. No, not "bottled beer", but
HEINEKEN. A clear hint for our friends from the North-West of Europe, the Dutch
(and all variations of it like Flemish, Luxemburgian, …) who like drinking
water with a litte taste of hops, a kind of cheesy, beery version of the
Spritzer.
And this was
just the "beer, wine + spirits" section. The soft drinks also bear incredible
treasures of internationality. MANGO LASSI for example. Definitely representing
Indian culture, an intense blend of mango wrapped in the freshness of yoghurt,
served with a straw to intensify the delicious adventure of this incomparable
taste. Alas, this was the drink that was sold out the most. India, world leader
of exquisite soft drinks. In contrast to KOMBUCHA, a drinking mistake from
Japan, where they ferment mushrooms that taste of old socks to make tea out of
it. Since everybody thinks this is healthy, 3.30 Euro are not too high a price,
for one can count on the webbers' bad conscience.
Whereas COCA-COLA, being
notoriously internationally unhealthy, is a must on every menu, CLAUSTHALER is
peculiar. At least in the softdrinks section. What is Clausthaler? An excuse
for addicted beer drinkers to keep drinking without the effect of alcohol. The effect
of that is that you drink more of it to gain at least a litte bit of boost, and
the effect of that in turn is a beer belly that makes dancing a bit difficult.
It's no wonder that this beer was invented in Germany where freedom of guilt
("yes, I can drink AND drive …") is a cultural achievement. Nevertheless,
Clausthaler is a beer brand, and not a soft drink whatever the responsibles for
the menu might have thought of.
You want to feel guilt-free?
Of course, the
menu holds out different varieties of fruit juices, but for sure specific ones:
CLOUDY fruit juice, according to the equation "the more cloudy the more
organic". Inversely proportional to the severely bad weather in the first two
weeks of the festival where cloudyness meant nothing but a cold. Now the big
offer of the drinking menu reveals itself: it wants to hold out a promising mix
of both healthy and hard stuff, coming from all over the world, to welcome the
youth of the world in the name of the bottle. Exotic lightness from India,
watery superficiality from the Netherlands, stickyness from Austria, mysticism
from Japan, Mexico's golden tricks, Russia's grassy purity, and Germany's …,
well. And yet, there's more than that.
Since ImPulsTanz is a performance
festival, one should certainly not underrate the performative appeal of these
drinks: if even words can do the world, why shouldn't drinks be able to do
things? Some more standing needed for your next yoga workshop? Choose a Mango
lassi and let the blend work on you. Wanna feel the lightness of Vaganova's
ballet principles? Have a vodka. Need sickness of stomach to weave it into your
Butoh class? Go for Kombucha. You want to feel guilt-free after you have broken
your partner's arm during a contact impro session? Drink a Clausthaler. And if
you have lost contact with the world entirely? Drink Coca-Cola, "the real
thing". One becomes what one drinks, every state of being is just a gulp away.
And sometimes, there is even genie in the bottle, they say.
(August 15, 2008)
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